


Jared’s Problem

by alienat



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-21
Updated: 2011-07-21
Packaged: 2017-11-03 06:28:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/378342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alienat/pseuds/alienat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared has a problem he knows will destroy his relationship with Jensen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jared’s Problem

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [](http://angst-bingo.livejournal.com/profile)[**angst_bingo**](http://angst-bingo.livejournal.com/)  for the prompt ‘Unable to perform’. Comments are love.

The first time had been when Jared had been completely stressed out of his mind. Filming Gilmore Girls wasn’t anything like filming Supernatural, but back then he still had been completely stressed out of his mind.

Mark had wanted sex that night, but Jared had been exhausted and cranky. Still he wanted to please his first boyfriend back then. It didn’t work. Nothing worked that night; he could do whatever he wanted, he just wouldn’t get hard. That hadn’t been the worse. What had been the worse was that Mark had been angry with him, accusing Jared of cheating on him and not loving him enough.

In retrospective that was the day sex became work for Jared. Pleasure turned into pressure and soon he just stopped altogether. Jerking off worked just fine for Jared, but as soon as someone was with him his dick stopped cooperating.

That’s why Jared is freaking out right now. Jensen had asked him out on a date last night, after dancing around each other for the better of three years. Maybe he wouldn’t expect Jared to have sex with him right away, but if the date would go fine Jared is sure that it wouldn’t take long for Jensen to demand sex.

It scares the hell out of him. He’s head over heels in love with Jensen, but just thinking about sex has him reduced to a scared little boy. Jensen will kick Jared’s ass out his bed quicker than Jared is able to say ‘Fuck Me’ – not that he would ever say that. But after the disaster not only would Jensen leave him, but also their friendship would be ruined and that is something Jared can’t live with.

Sandy’s the only one who knows about his problem. When he told her about him and Jensen, she said that he doesn’t need to worry.

“Just be honest, Jared. I’m sure Jensen will understand and will take it slow,” she said and Jared watched her with a big frown on his face.

“You really think any healthy male person would date someone he couldn’t have sex with?” Jared shook his head. “No, Jensen is gonna kick me out the moment I’ll say it.”

Sandy pulled him into her arms. “Don’t Jared. Don’t assume something about Jensen you don’t know. He’s a good guy.”

Jared knows she’s right. Jensen is a good guy, the perfect guy actually. But he can’t just believe that Jensen would want someone who can’t even get it up.

When they meet in the kitchen a little later Jared is shaking nervously. Jensen gives him a small fond smile and takes his hand in his own, leading him to the car. They eat at a nice little restaurant and Jared is able to relax. He’s even able to blank out the thoughts about Jensen and sex altogether and really enjoy their time together.

It’s when they get home and Jensen pushes Jared back against the wall next to the stairs kissing him passionately that his nerves and his fears slam back into him. Jensen tastes great and Jared doesn’t really want to stop kissing him, but he knows what will happen next and he just can’t let that ruin everything.

He pushes Jensen away, fleeing upstairs to his room and curling up on the bed. He doesn’t cry. He stopped long ago crying about not being able to perform. Right now he feels like though. He wants Jensen, wants to give him everything, but the pressure that’s putting on Jared prevents his cock to take notice.

All of a sudden the door to his room opens and Jensen walks inside. Kneeling on the bed behind Jared, he rubs a soothing hand down his back.

“Jay? Talk to me. Tell me what I did wrong.”

Jared snorts because Jensen did nothing wrong. Jensen is perfect just the way he is and it’s not Jensen’s fault that Jared is sexually inept.

Jensen lies down next to him, his chest pressed to Jared’s back and he winds his arms around Jared, pulling him tight.

“You’re scaring me, Jay. Tell me what to do to make you smile again.”

Jensen’s voice is low and soft and he sounds concerned and desperate at the same time. Jared wants to tell him, wants Jensen to know there is nothing he can do about it.

“I can’t,” he whispers.

“Please, Jay, just try. I really wanna help you.”

Jared swallows. Of course Jensen would misunderstand; of course he would have to spell it out. Well, at least he doesn’t have to look at Jensen. Thank God for small favors.

“I… I can’t have sex… I….” Damn why’s this so hard. “I… can’t get hard,” he rushes to say.

There, he said it. It’s out there and he waits for Jensen’s rejection, waits for the arms to pull away from him, and waits for the additional weight of Jensen’s body to leave the bed. Then he’ll finally be allowed to cry. 


End file.
